One questions I ask myself the most these days is “Why?” I pause and wonder sometimes, why certain things happen or happened, or why others just seem to work or go well together.
We have an average of 60,000 thoughts per day even though I think I may have more. Some thoughts are as mundane as if I should hit the snooze one more time, if I really need that cup of coffee or if it is cold outside. Others are more existential like “Why am I here? Do I matter? What did I come here to do”?
I used to be a person who rarely questioned anything because I simply wanted to go with the flow, be super chill, and avoid stirring the pot. When things seemingly ran smoothly, it was okay with me. But over the last couple of years, there was a lot of confusion around my theory. I learned to pay closer attention to what I want and what it means to be in control of my actions. I know that I cannot control everyone and everything but that it is important to be clear on what I want and only if it is okay for me, to then do it. I found this knowledge extremely helpful but I had to learn how to speak up when it is the right thing to do. Questions temporarily halt the flow by forcing me to take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Am I happy? What are my limitations? Is this worth my energy? What will happen next?
I know I am going to need a strong mind and body. What can I do to get even stronger or to feel better overall? The obvious that comes to mind is to eat well, to drink enough water, exercise, meditate and get fresh air. It is equally important to rest or cancel plans. It also means to stay in the tough conversation and/or to be willing to stand alone. Also, the way I pursue a goal is just as important as the goal itself because the journey is often more valuable than the destination.
What small steps can I take in addition to get closer to achieving my dreams or goals? I do have big, big dreams. We all should have some. Important steps to action dreams are to know that they take time, focus, discipline, and persistence. So, now here we are with our big dreams and nothing is moving in any direction even though we did everything we possibly could. Why? Maybe it is not the right time yet, we have to readjust, adapt or figure out a new path which is even better aligned with the goals we hope to reach. Then the question-game and start of a virtuous circle begins again: We ask why, determine why, and finally, recalibrate our actions around a newly shaped alternative or purpose. Is it all like a card game? We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand. But guess what? Sometimes I feel I play better on clay.