.SOMETIMES RAW.

Hello and Happy Tuesday! 

My mom, my son and I took a long walk around a lake today. The sun was shining and in the air was the beautiful springy feeling that we all looked forward to for a long time. Being in nature, especially walking through woods makes me happy. This is a place where I am the most content. It is peaceful, I have time to think happy thoughts and just be. Actually, while walking outside most of my blog ideas are being created. 

My mind has been somewhat busy this morning after I read the news. I do read the local newspaper daily just to have a greater picture on what is going on in the world. Usually, I feel miserable reading anything about politics and whatnot. This morning I read that German singer Roger Cicero passed away last Thursday due to some type of apoplexy or stroke. Just like that. He just gave an interview two days ago and explained that he is looking forward to his tour in April. I don’t know too many songs by him but what struck me was this realization that my life could be over in one second. Any second. Any day. I tend to forget sometimes and take my life for granted. I think it is very important to keep in mind that we only have this one shot and have to make the best out of it while we still can. It can be over so quickly. While I thought about all this in the morning my grandma came over to talk a bit while she was on her way back home from this little gym she joined. Not a gym-gym. Just movement therapy for the elderly but c’mon; she is 81 years old! I looked at her and thought that it is amazing that she is still here and walks and thinks clearly. So we chatted and had a cup of coffee and she left. Sweet, I thought. Life is sweet. 

While we drove to the lake this afternoon my mom put her hand on my leg and said, “I am glad you are here.” I loved this so much. When we walked we were quiet for a bit. Just walking and breathing in air, listening to birds while my son threw stones in the water and waiting for a train to come by. For some reason I remembered how she sometimes got ready to go out when I was a child. This did not happen too often, but sometimes. Her clothes, her perfume  (forever Issey Miyake) and her old leather purse. I thought about how she smiled at my siblings and I  before she left, with her blond hair and these laughing eyes. The thing about my mom that I admire is that she always did her own thing in a way. Sometimes in this quiet way but she was doing it while always being there for us. Today I realized again how lucky my siblings and I were to have my mom just the way she was. Of course not every day was happy-sunshine, but most of them. My siblings and I of course disappointed my parents, did crazy stuff, smoked and whatnot. But in the end, they were always 100% behind us and did so much more.  Today in the car my mom even remembered kid’s songs because my son wanted to hear one. I write this a lot but it is true – it is the little things that count! The normal everyday things that remind me so much of my childhood and how I grew up. 

Now I have a son of my own and I do understand even better how much hard work my parents must have put in throughout the years. A childhood that my siblings and I can look back at any time and say without a doubt that we had the best childhood possible. Looking and listening to my mom now, I do understand why she made certain choices in life. When I was a teenager I thought I would never ever be like my mom (or dad) but now, looking back, they were not that bad after all. I share so many good qualities with mom – qualities I am proud of and I have a plethora of memories of any kind with my parents.

We have actually been at the same lake when my son turned one-year old.  We celebrated his birthday right there on a park bench, bird watching and eating chocolate muffins. Perfection! 

While we walked back to the car we observed an awesome sunset, it became a bit chilly and a couple passed us. I was just about to say something about them when I looked at my mom and she said nothing; she just played with my son. I realized then and there that I do not need to judge anybody because who am I to judge. I have enough to learn and improve within myself. Someone walks by and does not look the way I want him to look? Well, I am not walking in his shoes, right? They live their own life. Who knows what the person is going through. Again, who am I to judge!

By the time we made it back to the car I realized that my life is perfect the way it is. And if it would be all over, I would be fine with it. No regrets – nothing, just peace. 

Hello and Happy Saturday! 

Are you currently in a relationship or marriage? Is he/she your type? I never thought I did have a type. I have many friends who date only certain kind of men/women. Some only love the business/manager/big money kind of guy. Some only go for the six-pack, sun-tan guys and others only for nerds. Well, I always thought I am open to anybody who is interesting, regardless of the clothes he wears or the car he drives. [What I always want to find out is, WHY do men honk when they see a woman they apparently like on the street? I never get this. What am I supposed to do? Go up to your car, open the door, get in and we live happily ever after? Or come up to your car at the red-light and start a conversation? I am getting off on a tenant here, sorry!] 

So, here I am, open-minded and full of love to find the one without really looking for him. Because this is apparently the only way to do it.

And then I met my husband. And the optimistic side of my brain that thinks about rainbows, sparkles, fun and ponies [not damn BronyCon!]  – said YES, he is awesome! 

Anybody who asked me in the beginning what he is like I would say, “So French!” and left it at that. What made him so interesting to me was that he checked off pretty high on my self invented men-list. He is tall, strong, brown eyes and of course French. His wine glass is usually half full while mine is half empty. He is older than I but not too much. Juuuuust about right. He loves to write and read even poetry [duh, French] and it was  surprisingly refreshing [really damn hot!] when he read Rimbaud out loud in French. Since the beginning of our relationship he spoke this weird language I did not quite understand. I am not talking about his accent which is sweet. Hah!

We always have long conversations and he is really interested in what I have to say. He thinks I am funny [well I am, so he better laughs about my jokes even thought sometimes I am only 50% funny]. He knows where he is going with what he is doing 99% of the time which I don’t. He has a pretty real, confident picture on where we are heading together in life which I don’t.  All I need to do is trust his theories and calculations but this is easier said than done sometimes. [bad experiences!] But this is for another post. With him I have the feeling that I found my type of man who I like to stick with. Kind of like this. We just have a lot in common. I knew we are on the same page in many situations because we are both from Europe. This might sound weird but for example we know that it is just normal to eat cucumbers, tomatoes, bread and cheese from dinner. Or we both give McD and its french fries the little side-eye. He also knows that if I am quiet for too long, something is wrong. Unconditional, as we both said pretty early into the relationship. 

The best part about it all is that I can be myself as much as he can be himself. We don’t want to change each other. Eating sweet-popcorn-with-the-computer-on-his-lap-while-he-is-actaully-sleeping-and-just-pretends-to-watch-the-movie-with-me-because-he-thinks-the-movie-sucks. And me, the sometimes complete mess-exxagerating-miss negative-who-brushes-her-teeth-with salt toothpaste only-while-making-breakfast and reading at the same time. And all that, is everything! This is what is important. 

Do you have a type? I would love to hear from you! 

Hello and Happy Wednesday. 

When it comes to beauty products, I love to know what is in them before I put them on my body. Checking the ingredients usually scares me because I cannot even pronounce most of this stuff. Even in so-called organic products are so many weird things, right? Have you ever checked the label of the products that you use? I wrote a post about the hair products I am using, the tooth paste that I like, some beauty products and the creme that I make. Actually, I don’t use anything else really. A while ago I found this book in an organic store in Germany. 

I read a couple of books on making your own natural beauty products but this one is just special. I love all the pictures and details. This book is definitely a keeper in so many ways. I tried two recipes so far and they do work really well for me. I will share those two today. Enjoy! 

Herbal Toner for dry skin

Ingredients for approximately 100ml Toner

90ml Rosewater

10ml (2 Tablespoons) Aloe Vera gel

5m (1 Tablespoon) plant-based glycerin 

How to: Simply mix all the ingredients and shake well for a bit. [Also shake every time before using it so the ingredients can mix up well again!] To use it, pour some toner on a cotton pad and wipe over your face. If you think that your skin feels still dry after using the product you may add some more glycerin. This toner usually expires after three months. I wash my face with water only, dry and then apply the toner before going to bed. In the morning, same procedure. It smells so good, fresh and female! Enjoy! 

Tinted Lip Gloss

Ingredients for approximately 20g of balm

10ml Glycerin 

5g bees wax (or Jojoba-wax)

5g Sheabutter

5g Coconut oil

2ml Castor oil (I replaces this one with Almond oil!)

1 Tablespoon red beetroot powder

3 drops of essential oil of your choice (Grapefruit, Lemon, Lavender)

How to: Mix the Glycerin and red beetroot powder in a little jar until you have a smooth, thick, color-intensive paste. Melt the bees wax and Shea butter in a pot on medium heat until melted. (NOT boiling!) Take pot from stove and add coconut and almond oil. Then your choice of essential oil and mix. Now add the red-glycerin to the oil-mix and stir quickly so the color can combine nicely with the gloss. Now fill everything into a tiny lip-balm jar. Your lip-gloss will be good for up to six months. All these ingredients are natural so the color of your lip gloss will fade after approximately two months. But hey, at least you know that you could actually eat this lip balm. [My father almost did!] 

 Do you like natural beauty products? What are you using or which ones are you making yourself? I would love to hear from you!